I’ve been trying to figure out how to start this for so long. I’ve tried researching how other great bloggers have started their blogs, but I think I’ve found there is no answer to my question. There is no “how to start”. You just start. If I try to create the perfect first blog post, I’ll never even start because of the anxiety that the pursuit of perfection causes.
However, talking about this struggle seems like an appropriate place to start.
I want Totally Mental to be a place where those fears of failure, darkness, loneliness, and challenges come to light, but that takes a lot of courage. And I want to show you all, and myself, that we can do this.
I have spent months pushing down the anxiety I have about starting this blog and the guilt I felt every day that has passed without starting.
I want for a world where we don’t have to force down those raw feelings just to have them haunt us in our moments of loneliness, but we bring them out in the open to share. Because I think, while still difficult, the hurt and fears we feel become less scary when we don’t feel so alone. We are all dealing with our own problems and while no one will ever know your truth, I believe everyone can understand it.
This is my dream.
And while the idea gives me the warm and fuzzies, my dream actually scares the crap out of me.
To follow this dream, I have to do a lot of work. And in that process, my sparkly, shining idea becomes messy, complicated, and real.
As I start, what I write and feel never turns out to be what I imagined my dream would look like. This inevitable imperfection is the source of my anxiety. I put off what I want because of this fear.
But I have to fight it. And you have to fight your fears, demons, and obstacles too.
Together, if we share in the weight of our struggles, we can overcome them and thrive. Or at least we can feel a little bit better knowing we’re not alone.